garbled

i haven't been writing for the last couple years and i think it's clouded my brain and made me stop being able to make sentences.  i stopped writing because of shame and guilt and fear of people reading what i'm writing. i'm in the midst of change in my life and i need to get it out to clear my head and be ok with the direction i'm going.  starting now i will work on letting my mind breathe and letting my fingers go where they may with the keyboard or journal for my own sake and sanity.

feeling free

spaz

laughing alone

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/030111/

laughing with only two dogs present.  they don't stare except at each other.  i like it.

yup. 2011.

2011 is the year I turn 34 and I've always imagined it to be the best year of my life. This year I decided to quit my job and pursue something else in life; although I'm not sure what that is yet. Two things I definitely want are to feel better about being me and to follow my way too huge heart, my beer-filled gut and my over-analyzing brain into the life I've always been chasing.

22 by Lily Allen

When she was 22 the future looked bright
But she's nearly 30 now and she's out every night
I see that look in her face, she's got that look in her eye
She's thinking how did I get here and wondering why

It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
'Til the man of her dreams comes along
Picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

She's got an alright job but it's not a career
Whenever she thinks about it, it brings her to tears
'Cause all she wants is a boyfriend, she gets one night stands
She's thinking how did I get here, I'm doing all that I can

INA does GR

I normally live in the Hamptons and I've been in GR for four years.  I've definitely shown people how to strut the blue loose shirt and how to make appetizers for the gays.  Jeffrey thinks that I'm amazing and I'm trying to find my way.  It will happen.  Loose shirt or hot.

New Goal - 70 miles on the NCT

I quit my job and they talked me into working part-time for another nine months. Before I start my part-time I requested three weeks off to clear my mind and to travel. Today was my first official day off and I needed to hike. I found part of the NCT over by Lowell and immediately felt a wave of happiness as I trekked down the buggie trail. This flash of happiness past inspired me to set a new goal for 2011. I'm going to hike a total of 70 miles on the NCT trail. The 70 won't be all at once or in the same area. It will just be the NCT trail in Michigan and a total of 70 miles before the end of the year.

I'm coming back, Nature! Mother Nature please bless me with the strength to resist any poison ivy, sumac or oak along the way.

Opportunity - Pete Murray

And so it goes another lonely day
Your savin time but your miles away
Your fly was drownin in some bitter tea
For seeing lost opportunity

Find your mirror go and look inside
And see the talent you always hide
Don't go kidd yourself well not today
Satisfaction's not to far away

Hold on now your exits here
It's waiting just for you
Don't pause too long
It's fading now
It's ending all too soon you'll see

Soon you'll see

Your coffee's warm but your milk is sour
Life is short but your here to flower
Dream yourself along another day
Never miss opportunity

Don't be scared of what you cannot see
Your only fear is possibility
Never wonder what the hell went wrong
Your second chance may never come along

Hold on now your exits here
It's waiting just for you
Don't pause too long
It's fading now
It's ending all too soon you'll see

Soon you'll see

Hold on now your exits here
It's waiting just for you
Don't pause too long
It's fading now
It's ending all too soon you'll see

Soon you'll see